The Land of Makebelieve

We are currently living through extraordinary times. Covid-19 has taken over the world and we are amidst a lockdown, spending more time than ever before in our homes.

We are all facing LOCKDOWN challenges. For our household – aside from the bigger more serious picture – it’s being awoken at 5.15am and remembering who we are.

My eldest son who is now 4, has never been hugely into ‘role play’ or ‘make believe’. We used to encourage him, and he briefly dipped his toe in playing The Witch from Room on the Broom. We were so encouraged we even bought a small broom. But it was short lived, despite my husband’s most dramatic attempt at the Dragon and my finest rendition of ‘DOWN! Cried the witch!’…

He just quite simply wanted to be himself. He was happy with that. ‘Do you want to be Superman?’ we would tentatively ask, presenting him with Home Bargains’ finest superhero onesie. ‘Would you like to go as Monkey Puzzle for World Book Day?’ I would say, digging out cousin Owen’s hand-me-down monkey outfit. ‘No Mummy, I just want to be myself.’

And we were happy to let him make his own way. But oh is he making up for it now!

Have you ever heard of ‘Scarf Lady’? No, me either. Hold that thought.

It started a few weeks back when my darling boy bounded up to me on his little orange balance bike and said ‘Hey Superhero!’. He was clearly showing signs of wanting to play ‘Let’s Pretend’ so I responded with ‘Hi Biker Boy!’. Now to a little boy currently in love with said balance bike this was clearly what he wanted to hear. And off we went around the garden pretending to be Superhero and Biker Boy. Daddy quickly became ‘Super Daddy’ and his brother ‘Super Baby Brother’.

After a week of ‘flying’ to the train station on our daily walk, climbing the ‘mountains’ in our back garden and defeating the evil monster cat ‘Chutney’, who happens to live with us, I was caught off guard when he casually said ‘Can I have a snack please Scarf Lady’. Stumped. Who the hell was Scarf Lady?!!

Daddy quickly brought me up to speed. My son had decided he wanted to re-enact the CBeebies programme Sarah and Duck. Bugger. Not paid much attention to that one.

So thus it began. Sarah, Duck, Scarf Lady and ‘Bag’. Eldest son wanted to be ‘Duck’. Duck basically communicates through, well, quacking funnily enough. Really useful. I’m well versed in 4 year old ‘quack’. Thanks CBeebies.

Daddy was cast as ‘Sarah’. Now this isn’t the first time Daddy has played a ‘woman’ having donned a frock to play Ugly Sister, so actually having to call my husband ‘Sarah’ wasn’t all that weird. Well maybe a little bit. (Husband is an actor).

As I say, I was given the role of ‘Scarf Lady’. I can’t say I was thrilled having Googled the woman but it is what it is. I played ‘The Old Woman with One Buttock’ at college so in some ways I was right at home. Luckily I am not required to wear an actual scarf by eldest son so I think I’ve got off lightly. Interestingly having done said Google I actually came across a family in full ‘Sarah and Duck’ costume. For Halloween. This is happening to other people!!

I have to say the starring role goes to my ten month old baby son. He’s lost any form of real name, simply referred to by my eldest as ‘Bag’. ‘It’s the Bag!!!’, ‘Bag just ruined my train track!!!’, ‘You put the Bag to bed and come back’. Poor thing is going to think his name is actually BAG. So glad we spent so long working out what to name him.

The problem is, quacking aside, I keep forgetting that my son is Duck and it is certainly keeping me on my toes! He’s a bit of a whirlwind at times, but negotiating with a 4nager who is convinced he’s a duck is a whole other level.

‘Son, can you PLEASE get dressed?’.
‘I’M DUCK!!!!!’.
‘OK Duck, can you please get dressed and take this to Daddy’.
‘You mean Sarah’.
‘Do I? (Confused) Oh yes, yes I do, take this to Sarah for Mummy’.
‘But you are Scarf Lady’.
‘Yes, sorry, SCARF LADY, I need to change the baby’s nappy’.
‘Bag’.
‘Sorry what?’.
‘The baby is a Bag’.
‘Ohhhhh… OK Duck, get dressed and take the bowl to SARAH, while I, SCARF LADY change the BAG’S bottom. Did I get it right?.’
‘Yes MUMMY!’.
A day in the life of Sarah and Duck

It’s only 8.30am at this point and we have already been up for three hours. Only 12 hours to go before we can fall asleep on the sofa. I suddenly hear quacking from the bathroom. Son obviously wants his bottom wiping. I’m getting quite good at this.

It’s all good fun though and the best thing is that Coronavirus doesn’t exist in Sarah and Duck so it’s actually a really lovely form of escape. And it causes much hilarity on a daily basis. For that I am truly grateful.

Stay safe and keep smiling. 🌈

UPDATE: We’ve been upgraded to Jack and the Beanstalk. Big Son is Jack, Daddy is the Giant, I am the Beanstalk and Baby Son is the Golden Egg. 👍🏻

Just Listen

JUST LISTEN
‘Just listen. The clock is still ticking but the Time is changing. Just listen. The birds are still singing but the Words are changing. Just listen. Our babies are crying but the World is changing. Listen. To their heart, to their breath, to their laugh.
Hold on. Hold on through the storm, we can weather this together. Hold on. Through the fear, we are stronger than we know. Hold on. Through the hours, the minutes, days and weeks. Hold on. To the rainbow you can see beyond the clouds.’
Written by Big Little Men & Me

A testing time

Life is so precious and it’s never been more important for us all to come together and hold on tight. It’s all I can do right now. I look down at my babe, sleeping soundly and peacefully and I’m so grateful that he has no real idea what is going on in the World. So much fear, so much change and so much uncertainty blowing in the wind. So many people blindly and desperately trying to deal with an unprecedented time where everything they know and love – and the people they know and love – are being challenged and segregated for the greater good.

But one day, when he and his bigger brother are older, I will tell them. I will tell them how people came together, communities thrived and how love above all prevailed. Because I believe it will. Yes there has without doubt been acts of selfishness, and greed and poor decision. But it is all born out of fear. People are being faced with challenges they thought they would never face and lives are being threatened.

We don’t have a crystal ball, we don’t have any real proof of how this is all going to play out. We can only take each minute, each hour and each day as it comes. Perhaps we’ll find out new things about ourselves and new strengths that we never knew existed. Perhaps we’ll find more anxiety than we have ever known. But as history shows, life does go on – for better or for worse – and only we have the power to make the decision to do our best – for our families, for our friend and for everyone else.

It can all get too much. Today whilst my eldest is at nursery – possibly for the last time ever if schools have to stay closed for an extended period of time – I’ve taken an hour just to be quiet. I’ve turned off the tv, the news and media and I’m trying to be mindful. It’s going to be so important going forward and I want to teach my boys how to be mindful too.

People often talk about rainbows with love and affection. Often because they represent the light and colour after the storm has passed. My little man is my rainbow, a baby blessed to us after the pain of miscarriage – and for me is proof that there is light after the storm. So for now, I’m just going to hold him and his brother tight and listen to them breathe, and laugh and play.

Big Little Men and Me – written by Emma Goodridge

Hold on tight Mamma…

‘The sleepless nights, feeding, changing nappies, changing hormones, changing body, baby sick, baby wee, more baby sick (this time in the hair and down the back), exploding nappies, snotnami, poonamis, learning 25 verses to The Wheels on the Bus and in my case, this time, learning how to be a Mum of two. And oh my, the SLEEP DEPRAVATION!!’
The First Three Months… by Big Little Men & Me – by a Dorset Mamma.

It hardly seems like five minutes since I was looking with joy at those two little blue lines on the pregnancy test. It had felt like a lifetime coming. I know that relatively speaking 15 months of trying for a baby isn’t a long time compared with the struggle some face, but following an agonising miscarriage in Jan 2018 and many months of trying for our little rainbow baby, getting a positive was so well received.

Now after nine months of growing him and hoping and praying he’d be OK, he’s here in my arms. And the time is flying by so terrifyingly fast. I’m desperately trying to saviour every moment; to drink in his newborn scent, to mentally record his sweet little murmurs and capture the picture of his changing face. They change so quickly. One moment you’re greeting their squishy little face for the first time, the next you’re looking at schools for them.

The milestones are so bittersweet. Every ‘first’ has its ‘last’ and every achievement, however small, is a step towards independence and these tiny little people growing into who they are going to be. You long for them to ‘take their first steps’, or ‘sleep through the night’, to ‘settle at nursery’ – the pride and joy is immeasurable – but with every milestone reached is an underlying grief for a stage that is past.

Three months in…

Speaking of milestones, we have just gone into the next bag of clothes marked ‘3-6 months’ retrieved from the great cavernous attic space in the sky. I think my husband is secretly delighted to be clawing back a bit more space back up there, bag by bag. The last couple of years have seen him negotiating the contents of our loft like a scene from The Incredibles. I digress.

It just doesn’t seem possible that we are already ditching the teeny tiny (or not so teeny in this one’s case!) baby grows and Size 1 nappies. You look down at them and wonder how they ever fitted inside your tummy?! 3 months old and growing quickly! He’s got a big appetite on him so we are feeding a lot but he seems to be doing well on it. They say that the first 12 weeks are the hardest. And they are hard. Learning to be a Parent is tough but in all reality the first three months there are just the beginning of a very steep learning curve, especially the first time around.

Each stage has its challenges, but the first three months most definitely pass by in a bit of a blur. The sleepless nights, feeding, changing nappies, changing hormones, changing body, baby sick, baby wee, more baby sick (this time in the hair and down the back), exploding nappies, snotnami, poonamis, learning 25 verses to The Wheels on the Bus and in my case, this time, learning how to be a Mum of two. And oh my, the SLEEP DEPRAVATION!! I had quite forgotten about that and it’s something I have had to re-learn to cope with the second time around. Much easier dealt with at 3am by my pal Rich T. Although my waistline doesn’t agree. Needless to say the post about my new fake fit-bit is imminent… 🤪

Big Bro…

My boy has such a great sense of humour, he’s just discovered ‘Knock Knock’ jokes and he thinks they are hilarious!

My eldest appears to be adapting to life as a big brother well. It’s been a huge change for him, having had Daddy and I to himself for 3.5 years, but he seems to be pleased to have his little brother around. I’m sure it will only be a matter of time before the two of them are arguing over who is playing with the train set!

Since the arrival of ‘Baby Potato’, as he sometimes is fondly called (the name thought up by his cousins!), my biggest boy has hit many of his own milestones and I’ll be honest I felt like he grew up overnight when the baby arrived. He’s learnt to use the toilet, come out of the booster seat at the table, his vocabulary is ever expanding and he’s just transitioned into his ‘big boy bed’. He looks so little in it, but he appears to love his new space themed bedroom with ‘a ladder’ and ‘den area’ under the bed. Our bargain of the month; free courtesy of Facebook Marketplace.

My boy seems to be growing up at an even faster rate now. We have started looking at schools for him and I have never felt more like an ‘adult’ than touring around a school with the headmaster for my own child! Wherever he goes, I hope it is a wonderful experience for him and I am sure he will thrive in his next stage.

For now I am holding on tight to every moment of our pre-school adventure, even the challenging days and the ones when I am wandering around the house like some kind of sleep deprived goat.

Highcliffe Beach

I love Sundays. We’ve got the family visiting at the moment, and as it was such a lovely day we took the boys down to our local beach in Highcliffe. William just loves climbing on the rocks and throwing stones into the sea!

It was really clear today, so Grandpa took a moment to take in the view with William. Precious times. 💙

Whatever the season I love coming down to this part of the coastline, it’s my favourite place to walk. I always feel like it’s clears my mind and it’s usually very quiet down there. The path is buggy friendly, you can walk all the way along the path from here to Avon Beach & Mudeford Quay fairly easily and now that the zig zag path is complete you can also get up to Highcliffe Castle and Steamer Point Nature Reserve too.

Although it’s primarily a stoney beach, there are pockets of sand where the kids can build a sand castle and when you are finished The Cliffhanger Cafe at the top of the cliff is a wonderful stop for coffee and cake (or a spot of lunch) boasting glorious views of the coastline and Isle of Wight (In my opinion, they do the best Dorset Apple Cake in the area!).

My little adventurer on his way down to the sea!

Chewton Bunny nature reserve can also be accessed from this part of the coastline, but we haven’t explored this yet!

Enid Blyton’s Dorset

One of the things I love about this area is it’s connection to Enid Blyton. It is said that Blyton used to holiday down on the Purbeck Isle and that several locations served as inspiration for her books. I was a huge fan of her books when I was young, The Famous Five in particular, so you can imagine how delighted I am to now live where these stories were said to be ‘born’.

Enchanting Corfe Castle, with its tumble down ruins and circling jackdaws, is the very image of The Famous Five’s Kirrin Castle and Brownsea Island is said to be mysterious Whispering Island. The 1970’s series was filmed in the area with scenes being shot in locations in The New Forest, Lymington and our very own Highcliffe. You can imagine how excited 10yr old me was to discover that both Highcliffe Castle and beach was used in the filming of the programme I used to so frequently watch.

Perhaps that’s one reason I feel so at home here.

Featured

A Mamma by the Sea…

Welcome to my Mummy Blog – Big Little Men & Me. Musings of a Dorset Mum in her late 30’s and my adventures in parenthood.

My name is Emma and I am blessed to be a Mamma to two beautiful boys; William 3 1/2 and Elliot, just 7 weeks old.

My two little men. I say ‘little’, but both of them were anything but, weighing in at 9lb 9oz and 8lb 8oz! Not the largest babies ever born, and I’m sure some of you have given birth to bigger, but still big for my short 5 foot nothing stature! In both cases I gave birth via Caesarean section, but that’s a story for another time!

Becoming a Mum is by far the most glorious, satisfying thing I have ever done. Yes, it’s exhausting, challenging, even mildly terrifying at times, but by golly it’s the most incredible and rewarding adventure. For the first time in my life, I feel completely whole and I could never imagine my life without them. Even if it does mean a lot less sleep…! 😆

I’m joined on this crazy parenting adventure by my wonderful husband Ben, who is the most supportive, patient and loving Daddy to our boys. He’s also brilliant at fixing toys (and many other things), which comes in very handy with our pint-sized Gladiator-come Ninja almost 4 year old!

We live in Highcliffe in Dorset. Following years of living in London, working around the UK and a short stint in the UAE, we moved here to set up home two years ago and we love it. With the sea and The New Forest on the doorstep, it’s a great location for children and there are endless places to explore. I’ll be sharing some my experiences of the local area as part of my blog and highlighting things that are good for the kids and the family, as well as all important things for Mum, and Dad too.

Which brings me to the reason why I’ve decided to start Big Little Men & Me… Seven weeks postpartum, I am beginning the process of ‘putting myself back together’ after Elliot’s birth. Pregnancy, and the whole process of bringing a little mini-me into the world is an incredible thing. It blows my mind just what the body is capable of. But without a doubt it is testing, both physically and emotionally. When a bubba arrives, parents have to relearn how to be themselves in their new roles as ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’ and as they so often say – there is no manual for raising little humans; they are all their own unique blend! It’s a huge, and often steep learning curve. You don’t just learn about the person you are bringing up, you learn everything about yourself too.

The last four years have been some of the best of my life. Some days I feel like a Super Woman, other days I don’t know what day it is! One thing I read time and time again though when talking about ‘good’ parenting is how important it is to make time for yourself. Easier said than done. Balancing Motherhood with that little bit of ‘me time’ is something I’m still working on. As I’m sure many of you will understand, it’s never long before the Mummy guilt kicks in. Whether you are a full time Mum or Dad or a working parent, when you have kids time just seems to vanish. It literally flys. And I don’t begrudge my boys one little bit of my time, but boy do they benefit from me taking five every now and again.

So this little blog is a little bit of that me time. I’ve always loved writing and I hope that you enjoy reading the musings of an almost 40 something Mum of two and her adventures by the sea.

Emma x

‘Parenting is as crazy as circumnavigating the globe without a map…but, oh, what a journey!’

Emily @isthisREALLYmylife